Your Decisions Determine Your Reputation

I had an interesting day yesterday. My older son and I traveled to visit his younger brother. Before we left, my son's roommate cooked breakfast -- scrambled eggs, hashed browns, and polish sausage. It took us three hours to get to our destination. We picked up my younger son, who wanted to eat lunch. We ate a pretty decent barbecue place. After lunch, we went to the only drive through cave in North America. After the cave tour, a tour led by one of the most informative and colorful young men I've ever met, the boys wanted to stop by the Mall and get a 'snacky-snack.' The 'snack' turned out to be Chinese food and bubble tea. We returned to my younger son's apartment and relaxed. We had planned to leave for home around 6 pm, but at 630, the boys decided they wanted sushi for supper. 90 pieces of sushi later, Big Boy and I started home.

Somewhere between three hour drives and three big meals, Big Boy and I had a conversation about his future. Somewhere in the middle of a rather extended, rather profound conversation, a single sentence came out of my mouth -- "Your decisions determine your reputation."

I don't know how many thousand decisions I've made in my life; do you? All day, every day, every week, every year. You, me, everyone. How do we know how to make our decisions? God has something to say about it.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." (Philippines 2:3, 4)

"Let us not love with word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.'" (1 John 3:18)

Each one of us has a strong sense of of self-preservation. But what if it's not ourselves we need to preserve; what if it's those around us. On each of my forearms -- in Thai on my left and in Chinese on my right -- "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13).

Jesus helped a lot of people. Charity was part of who Jesus was; not all, but a part. Jesus also claimed to be equal God. "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believed in Him should not perish, but everlasting life."

A couple of years ago, I came to the realization that if we lived our lives the way the Bible instructs, we'd all be much better off, even if we didn't believe in God. Both of my sons seem to have walked away from the faith of our family, but I keep praying for them and talking to them about how they live and the decisions they make. Despite their lack of outward signs of worship, they still make good life decisions...most of the time.

Not one of us, however, is perfect, well except Jesus. We make mistakes; we rebel against authority; we do our best to control our lives, our destinies, when it is our destiny to follow. Instead of saving, we are hard-wired to serve. "Let your light before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify God who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

During our conversation, Big Boy told me that he understood about my religion. I think I surprised him by telling him that all religions are the same -- with their rules and traditions and judgement. I also told him that my faith was in Jesus Himself. At the same time, I want to treat others the way God treats us -- with mercy.

At some point in the time, it either came to me or someone told me that the Cross was a perfect symbol of out lives. the vertical beam represents our relationship with God; the horizontal beam represents our relationships with others. When Christ was nailed to the Cross, His arms were spread out to remind us that God's love embraces all of us. His head and feet were attached to the vertical beam to remind us that Christ is the liaison between Heaven and Earth; between God and humanity.

As for me, I want to make decisions that associate me with and glorify God. I'll deal with the reputation that goes with me.

Coal or Diamond?

I love science! Science fascinates me. One amazing fact is that coal, diamond, and graphite are fundamentally the same substance -- elemental carbon. Another amazing fact is how we value these three substances -- coal is worth about $35/ton; graphite is worth about $3500/ton (ranges between $1000-$20000/ton); diamond is worth about $10,000,000,000/ton.

We humans are created to be God's highest and best work. God Himself estimated our value to be worth the sacrificial death of His own son. In light of the fact they we bear the fingerprints of God, how is it that we don't see the value of ourselves and others. Who doesn't know the Golden Rule -- Treat others the way you want to be treated? Honestly, we don't...or at least we act like we don't.

I work with athletes. Every athlete I know dreams of going pro. That's problematic, since most sports don't have pro leagues. Let's see: football, baseball/softball, basketball, golf, tennis. That's about it. There are also a few sports where a handful of athletes can get by on corporate scholarships. But of the millions of young athletes, very few will make it to college sports, much less the pros. What's more, most pro athletes have a career of less than 5 years. There's a high potential for disappointment for youngsters and their families who see a career in professional sports as a big lottery.

Sadly, there's far more enthusiasm among families for success in sport than in academics. Face it, most of us are going to have to earn a living doing something much less glamorous than playing sports. Another small percentage may become musicians or actors, but most of us will pay the bills by using what we learned in school rather than on the stage or on the field of competition.

All of us have the opportunity to go to school. Some of us experience difficulties in school because of things beyond our control (like moving around); others are distracted by a desire to be entertained. In all fairness, whether we value education like coal or like diamond depends, to some extent, by how those around us value education. It's true that Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates don't have college degrees, but they both got into Harvard and they both had big ideas. They also worked very hard at making their ideas come true.

What's the difference between a lump of coal and a diamond (other than their value)? Diamonds are formed under intense heat and pressure. We may start out life fundamentally alike, but life itself forms us into who we become.  The next time you are confronted with making difficult choices, ask yourself are you coal or diamond.

The Iron Never Lies

I've been strength training for almost 40 years and competing for 30. Somewhere along the line, I heard someone use the expression "the iron doesn't lie,"recently popularized by Henry Rollins. I have no idea who he is, but I understand what he's saying.

At my age, I've grown accustomed to perceptions. Someone else, again I don't know who, has said that perception is reality. I call Shenanigans. Perceptions are not objective. I see myself and my accomplishments in a certain light; others see me and my accomplishments through a different set of filters. What's more, everyone sees themselves through a set of filters and I see through them through my filters. Finally, I use one set of filters for viewing myself and my accomplishments, and a different set of filters for viewing others and their accomplishments. Confused yet? Understandable.

Life is complex...period. We try to simplify it using generalizations, metaphors, and object lessons. We try to understand animal behaviors by assigning human traits to them and try to simplify complex concepts for our children. We have created technologies that we love and have demoted friends and family to things we use.

Getting back to strength training, I like lifting weights. In particular, I enjoy doing the back squat and, to a lesser extent, the deadlift. I despise the bench press because I suck (speaking subjectively). I hold some records at the state, national, and world level -- based on the rules of several different organizations of which I pay for membership. I own weightlifting equipment that takes up space in my garage. I can bench, squat, and pull to my heart's content.

But the weights scare me. That's the truth. The reason I'm scared of the weights is because the weight is the objective reality. My weight plates are accurate to within 10 grams of the amount printed on the plate. That means that when the weight on the bar adds up to 100 kilograms, it's 100 kilograms. I can say it's 110 kilograms, but it's not. I can say it's 90 kilograms, but it's not. I can even have friends or registered officials tell me that it's not 100 kilograms, but it is 100 kilograms. Confronted with this blatant objective reality, there's nothing to do but lift it...or not. If I pick up that 100 kilogram bar and weights, I will either fail or succeed. It's that simple. 

I have been competing in the sport of powerlifting since the fall of 1986. I'm not really that good (subjective), but I compete because there are three officials who determine whether or not I have successfully completed a squat, bench, or deadlift, based on the rules of performance of their organization. Judges, in theory, make the sport less subjective, but there are three refs, so two of three determine my success.

What's my point? I like standards of performance. I like standards as a way of measuring success. In a job interview, I want to tell a prospective employer that I accomplished this or that. I also like standards as a benchmark for personal growth. I'm not as interested in perfection (I see imperfection in the mirror every morning) as I am improvement. Standards allow me to measure growth. Standards also provide me with the opportunity to rest. I have already accomplished some of my goals; I have goals yet to be accomplished. But today, I want to take a nap. As long as I understand that the standards will be there when I wake up, I don't have to worry about not completing everything...because there's always something else.

The iron never lies...and there's always more iron to put on the bar. The road goes ever, ever on.

What are Generalizations?

Generalization -- "a general statement, law, principle, or proposition"

(Merriam-Webster dictionary)

     I would describe myself as a storyteller. I have made a living as a preacher, a teacher, an educator, a tutor, a mentor -- whatever my employer chose to call the job. But basically, I'm a storyteller. What's odd is that a job is something you do, while an education is something you sit through. Somehow, we have taken a really sound educational practice -- apprenticeship -- and changed it into an intellectual assembly line. Stories go along with working. Stories give people context. Stories engage people in a way that lectures don't. I'm proud to be a storyteller.

     I work for a major university. I help students achieve their academic goals. I've been working at the university for about six years. During my second or third year, my supervisor started referring to me as the "General." I didn't think about it much, at first, but I took it as a compliment (and I believe it was). That supervisor has since moved to another university. I think of her occasionally. I enjoyed working for her. She reminds me of all of the supervisors I've worked for who communicated clearly what they needed me to do and expressed satisfaction and gratitude when I did it. 

     At some point during the past few months, I had what I term an "ah hah" moment in regard to my nickname. I had previously thought that my supervisor had called me the General because I was always willing to do whatever she asked me to do; to take on any challenge. I have just realized that maybe she called me the general, because over the time I've known her, I've tutored over 40 general education classes. I am a repository of general knowledge.

     So what does this have to do with the name of this blog? I work with people who are often 20-30 years younger than myself. Occasionally, I tell stories as a way of talking about my life experiences. These are some of the same stories I've told me own children -- my "Dad stories." To me, my stories are like "Gibbs' rules," but longer. I tell each story for a specific reason; to teach a specific truth. This blog is going to be the place where I record these stories. Maybe, if I get a positive response, I'll put them together in a book. For now, in this blog, I'm going to call my stories "General-izations." I hope you enjoy them. More importantly, I hope they're worth sharing, because they represent my life's experiences.